Unhealthy Loyalty

Loyalty is something that is highly valued in our society. It creates consistency and trust. Being loyal as a customer, as an employee, as a partner, as a daughter/son, as a brother/sister, as a friend, as a voter, as a patient, as a fellow countryman. We can be loyal in different ways. Loyalty is defined as keeping to the agreements made. It also includes honesty and sincerity. It seems to be a connective tissue between human relationships.

At the same time, I see loyalty around me taking on unhealthy forms. Remaining endlessly loyal to people and institutions that no longer fulfil our needs. Remaining loyal to an employer who insults his people, to a political party that is morally bankrupt, to a spouse you have not been happy with for years, to a company that does not offer its most loyal customers any benefits.

So why do we remain loyal? Apparently loyalty fulfils certain individual needs, otherwise we would not be so loyal. In non-violent communication, everything we do and say is a strategy to fulfil a particular need of ours. Everything. These are universal needs that everyone recognises, such as love, growth, trust, recognition, health, etc. It is the life energy and the life force of the individual. It is the driving force behind everything we do. However, just like feelings and emotions, needs are changeable. From moment