Losing Control

Last night there was frost in parts of the Netherlands. Very unusual for August, and a clear reminder that nature does not care about our expectations. Its rhythms are often unpredictable: sometimes gentle, sometimes destructive. An ice age after a volcanic eruption, a tsunami after an earthquake, forest fires, hurricanes, even a meteorite strike. All of it shows me how little control we really have.

Still, it is only human to long for control. I notice it in myself too: the belief that if I plan, organise and prepare well enough, life will go the way I want. That can create a sense of security, but it is an illusion. Life cannot be fully managed. Illness, loss, setbacks – sooner or later, they come to all of us.

And I realise that this constant urge for control is what drains me most. Energy I could use in a much better way: by meeting situations differently. Not by denying or resisting them, but by bending without breaking. Sometimes that means taking a few extra breaths before I respond. Sometimes offering myself kindness instead of harsh self-criticism. Sometimes having the courage to ask for help.

Perhaps that is the real recipe for a happy life: allowing myself to be human: vulnerable, resilient, and able to get back up again and again in the reality that unfolds, just as it is.

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With warm regards,